My Best Tidbit of Advice

Several years ago, I was visiting with a friend in her front yard when her daughter came up and asked if she could do a specific something. I don't remember what that specific something was but I do remember that even I knew the mom was going to say no. My friend did say no - she and I continued our visit.

A few minutes later, the daughter ran up and asked again. Again, my friend said no. Our conversation resumed. Repeat this scenario 2 more times.

Finally, about the fifth time the daughter asked, I started laughing and said, "Oh, I get it. Recently, when she asked you - you said yes." My friend exclaimed, "Yeeeesssss!" We both knew that the daughter would keep asking for a long time, that my friend would have to continue to say no for a long time, until all hope the little girl had of getting her way would be removed.

Lesson: If you've got some "long times" in your future, spend them thinking about it before you compromise your family rules or standards. Make sure that your rules are just, right/righteous, and worthy. There is nothing worse than enforcing a "no" that, in the heat of the battle, you realize is unrighteous. And then, stand firm - - - or you'll end up saying no to your child for a really, really long time until they lose all hope of another random yes.

If you say no sometimes and yes sometimes, it makes life seem really random to your kids. It isn't. God created a world for us where He tells us what the rules are and what we can expect from Him. Personally, I find that to be very comforting because I know where the boundaries are and what the consequences are. Life makes sense and obedience is most likely when we know what we can expect.

So think about it before you buckle - the pain of saying no far outweighs the months of repeated questions that hope for another weak moment.