Letter (written by Lori's husband) to Friends About the Death of Grace and Peace Richter

August 6, 1989

Dear Family and Friends,

Grace and Peace Richter, both girls, were born at 23 weeks. Both went to rest in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ within 20 minutes after their birth.

We have been looking forward to having more children. Even before conception we began to pray for our next child. We even asked God for twins. We were overjoyed in March to find out that Lori was pregnant, and even happier to discover that they were twins. We believed, and still believe, that our pregnancy was given to us by the Lord.

In mid-July, Lori began to look like she was in her 8th month. We went to the doctor saw on an ultrasound that something was wrong. We were sent to Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. The twins had a condition called twin-to-twin transfusion, a process that can occur in identical twins sharing a single placenta. We were told that the chances of either baby living were zero. They were too young to be born, and as time went on they would only grow weaker in the womb.

We were crushed. We prayed long hours for them and believed to the end that God could heal them if He chose to intervene. In our repeated talks with Him, we asked for them to be healed. However, we also told God that we knew He loved us and the babies and that His purpose and perspective could see far beyond ours.

During our hospital stay we experienced a depth of God's grace and peace we had never before felt. We cannot explain it except to say that the deeper the pain and grief went, the deeper His love was felt. This has definitely been the most painful, difficult thing we have ever gone through, but we can say with assurance that to those who know and reverence Him, deep hurt brings deeper grace!

On the 15th God mercifully allowed Grace and Peace to be born, Their time was short. We were able to spend our final minutes alone with them. We are very thankful for that time.

It is natural for us to think things are ours and are owed to us - our possessions, plans, health, our spouse and children. When we perceive that man or God is taking it away we feel cheated. After Job received the shocking news that his livestock, servants, and children had all been destroyed, the first words he spoke revealed his heart, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21) And the next verse says, "Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God."

We were thankful to God for the twins and recognized that we were just the temporary caretakers of them - they really belong to God. Our twins, like all of our children, are a gift from God. Whenever a young one dies we feel that they went "before their time". Although it hurts terribly to lose them and all our plans for their future, we know that they were taken "in His timing", and in that we rest. They are in the hands of perfect love, joy, peace, and care.

Our hurt is not for them but for us. We are left o this side of eternity to deal with life's pain and struggles in an imperfect world. Having experienced a measure of His grace and peace we know that there is ample supply for whatever our future years may hold.

We have never experienced anything as painful and deeply grieving as watching Grace and Peace die in our arms. It gives us a glimpse of what our Father must have felt to watch as his Son died. Our children were too young to be conscious of what was happening. His Son was very aware of what was happening throughout the many hours leading up to His excruciating death on the cross.

We would have never chosen this outcome for our twins. Consequently, what is most gripping to my heart, as a father, is that God willingly gave His innocent Son to die for us. We cannot conceive that kind of love, or Him loving us that much! But that is the love He feels for you and for me. There is therefore, nothing that we could ever go through that His love would not be able to see us through. He, as the Father and the Son, has felt the deepest of hurts. There is no hurt that He cannot relate to. There is no pain that His peace cannot comfort.

We'll close with part of an entry in Lori's journal that she wrote to Grace and Peace:

Grace and Peace I love you so much and I miss you. I can't seem to find it in me to say goodbye. In my heart, the heart of a mother, I long to know each of you. In my heart, the heart of an obedient child of God, I resign those desires and rest in knowing you rest safely in the arms of Jesus. You now know love, grace, peace and rest. So, goodbye Grace and Peace, I love you. Goodbye Grace, for God's grace is sufficient for me. (2 Cor. 12:9) Goodbye Peace, for the peace of God surpasses all comprehension and will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7)

It is our prayer and hope in sharing these things with you that those of you who have experienced, or will experience, the loss of one you love will find hope and encouragement in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

Strengthed by Jesus,
Skip and Lori Richter