Not By My Will

When I was a kid, I used to wake up each morning and commit myself to God for the day.

This morning as I was praying, I found myself repeating that familiar declaration, "Lord, I commit myself to you." Though this time, when I said it, I realized that this is something that I cannot do. I can't, by my will, commit myself to God. I have the desire but lack the fortitude. My flesh, my self or sinful nature is too strong. (Just as a side note - if we could, by our own will commit ourselves to God, it would negate the need for Christ's death on the cross.)

My experience on this side of heaven has been that I easily fall out of loving God and into loving myself (or what I want). It's like when someone flips a switch or pushes a button. Right now, that button is usually that that I feel someone has belittled me or disrespected me. If the right button is pushed, I flip back to self.

So, this morning as I prayed, "Lord, I commit myself to you", I paused and rephrased my desire. "Lord, I press into, move toward, look to, strive toward, proclaim my need for you today. Help me to lay myself down and not be committed to myself. Help me to glorify you.