Relying on Gifts From the Hand of God

I am worried about moving to Houston. My husband starts working there in 2 weeks. Our family won’t move until our house sells so we’ll be living in two different cities during the work week. The last time this happened, it took 3 years for our property to sell. It was incredibly difficult. It hurt to be away from my husband. How could God have allowed that to happen? I fear that God won’t move quickly on my behalf. He didn’t last time.

I correct myself saying, “God is sovereign over selling this house. This is nothing for him.” But those words don’t change me because ultimately I’m still on the throne. In Seeing With New Eyes, Powlison says, “No one can truly change who does not know and rely on gifts from the hand of God.” Though I think I am “relying on the gifts from the hand of God”, I’m not. The result is the bad fruit of anxiety in my life. (Philippians 4:6-7) I’m living out of self-determination.

Without God’s help, I cannot change. Left to myself, I function as my own god. I see myself as being too big and God as too small. I’m overwhelmed and afraid of what God is going to do.

The way I’m functioning doesn’t match what I know is true. While I believe God is sovereign, I function as if I know better than God in this situation. While I believe God is good, I function as though God will not be involved in selling our house. I’ll have to make the house sell (as if I could).

My anxiety lies to me, telling me that I have to make the move happen. My anxiety distracts me, keeping my thoughts focused on the “craziness” of the move rather than on what a great God I serve, how small these circumstances are for him, and how much he loves and cares for me and my family.

All I know to do is to cry out to God, “Father, have mercy on me. Change me; you are the only one who can. Cause me to know and rely on the gifts from your hand. Don’t let me forget that you are moving us, not me. Don’t let me forget your faithfulness, greatness, and mercy. Don’t let me forget your love and care for my family. ”